Gratefullness

Tip # 3: Be Grateful For What You Have

I went to the grocery store yesterday to buy a few items that we were in semi need of. Buy semi need I mean that we don't absolutely have to have them this week. The boys and I are heading to Oklahoma on Saturday and hubba Bubba will be following Sunday. So, grocery shopping for this week was to be limited if any due to the fact that we will all be gone for two weeks. Unfortunately, old habits die hard. I found myself yesterday in the middle of Von's with two screaming babies,(who were absolutely worn out, seeing as how we had been in the store for three hours), coupons strewn about all over my basket, and a cart full of twenty five miscellaneous items we absolutely did not need. I rationalized in my head (as I always do) that buying these twenty five unneeded items was a great deal and just fine because at checkout I would be receiving a coupon for twenty dollars off of my next order for purchasing the correct twenty five items. My percentage saved was well over 50% (as it usually is) and my total was only thirty six dollars, yet somehow, the excitement, the thrill and the happiness I usually felt about this feat was missing. My kids were screaming with chip crumbs (from the bag I had to purchase to keep them occupied so I could continue scheming) all over their face, tear stained cheeks, and jelly stains on their clothes (due to the pb & j lunch they were forced to eat in the basket, so I could have more time scheming). It hit me when I looked at them that something was terribly wrong with this picture. It's one thing to take the kids grocery shopping, this is a normal every week habit that most moms inevitably face. It's an entirely different thing to drag the kids from store to store all because of my lust to hit the next sale, and the next savings promotion to buy items we absolutely do not need. When I got home, I took the kids to bed,realizing they had both peed through their diapers, which made me feel even worse and it was at that moment I decided I wasn't going to unload the car this time. Bub got home a little while later and I explained the situation and he abruptly agreed with the unthinkable that I had been contemplating: I needed to take it all back. So, I jumped in the car and I did just that. It was hard, because although I didn't need anything I bought, I did want almost some of it. But truth be told, I spent thirty six dollars we did not have, the food I bought wasn't even food we really liked, and we will be gone for two weeks so we already have plenty of food to last until we are gone and for a few days when we get back. More importantly though, my addiction to shopping and saving with coupons is hurting my kids and our relationship and interrupting the valuable time I get to spend with them. I only went shopping yesterday to feed my addiction.
I religiously go to the store on Mondays. In fact, it's something I really look forward to. I discovered hard core coupon shopping, savings, and strategies about a year ago and have been a junkie ever since. I say this jokingly, but honestly I am in the throws of a shopping addiction. I used to spend my shopping time with my mom and sister at Wal-mart. I constantly brought home knick knacks, clothes, and basically anything that was on sale. I really prided myself on being such a savvy shopper. Then we moved to California and our budget got tighter and I soon realized that my Wal- mart shopping excursions would have to come to a screeching halt if we were going to pay our bills. Not only did I lose my favorite shopping partners, I also had to shun my favorite store. I adapted and I soon discovered the sheer awesomeness of coupons. I researched and read how to maximize my savings and with coupons and kids in tow I began going on what I like to call, "Monday Mania," or in other words my weekly trip to the grocery stores. Coupons flew, tempers flailed but I braved the storm, every single week as I hauled my boys around the stores determined to save money. The coupon craze and the incredible savings it produced enticed me to spend hours preparing for my shopping trips, cutting coupons, and toting my boys in the grocery cart for hours on end. I have known this is all madness and I have been disheartened by how to stop the mania, yet still save the money for quite some time now.
But, thank God for epiphany's! My husband asked me to read an excerpt from a lecture by Mother Teresa that she gave for winning the Nobel Peace Prize in 1979. As I sat there, reading this lecture allowed, I began to realize just how much my family and I really have been blessed with. She spoke of a man who she had rescued off of the streets of Calcutta, India who had been half eaten with worms. She brought him back to the home to care for him, and in his gratefulness, knowing that he was about to die, he said, "I have lived like an animal in the street, but I am going to die like an angel, loved and cared for." This man, the poorest of the poor, with absolutely nothing to speak of, with a half eaten body, still had something to be grateful for.
Gratefulness is not a gift, it is a choice. This is the epiphany for me. My shopping addiction is so petty in comparison to Mother Teresa's countless acts of generosity, love, and gratefulness. I realize now that the path to beat this coupon craze along with its' shopping addiction is to be grateful for what I have. I have a tendency to accumulate more and more food, toiletries, and paper products than I know what to do with (due to coupons and sales). I spend so much time planning and conniving over how to get more stuff that I never implement a successful plan to use what I already have. The newest items in the sales flyer's are prizes that I must have no matter the cost to my kids, to my husband, or to myself. This is ungratefulness! I am unwilling to be content with what I have, or in some cases, what I do not have simply because I am not in the habit of being grateful.
My prayer, my petition, and my hearts desire, God, is that you will help me to always choose contentment with what is in my pantry over lust for what is in the sales ad, that you will help to put on gratefulness for a family to feed rather than ungratefulness for our ill perceived lack. Help me to be wise in the decisions my husband has entrusted me with when it comes to grocery shopping, coupon clipping, and saving money. Help me to rely on you to supply all my needs according to your riches and glory.

I am choosing gratefulness today, I love you,

Tammy Hook

Tip # 2 :

Moving For Less, With Friends and Less Stress
Moving day... dreaded by many, feared by some, but necessary if one wants to change addresses. My change of address officially happens tomorrow. Thankfully, our move only finds us about a hundred steps from our current residence. So, God willing this move will be pretty painless compared to our last move half way across the country. So, here is our game plan to make our moving day less stressful, more fun, and as easy and quick as possible.


1. Start decluttering your home as soon as you find out you will be moving. For directions on how to declutter, visit www.flylady.net. Getting rid of junk, trash, and clutter before you ever start packing boxes will only reduce your stress level when the inevitable unpacking day arrives.
Decluttering doesn't have to be painful. Take decluttering in small steps, such as fifteen minute increments (as flylady suggests).

2. After deciding what you will keep, estimate the amount of boxes you will need. About one month before you are planning to move start asking around at your local grocery stores, hardware stores, big box store and pharmacy stores for boxes. If you ask politely what day and time the store is stocked you can get a good idea of the approximate time the store will have available boxes. Many stores crush, or bail their boxes (which are of no use when moving) immediately after stocking. So, arrive while the store is being stocked, ask a manager if it's okay to collect some boxes and voila you have as many boxes as you may need to move for free!

3. Start collecting moving supplies, such as box tape, markers, bubble wrap, foam, trash bags etc. You can post search ads for these items on www.freecycle.org or www.craigslist.com to try to get them for free. Also start scouring the store ads for deals on water, sodas, food, paper plates, paper cups, utensils, napkins, and other party supplies to prepare for your moving party.


4. Let your friends and family know you will be moving in the near future. Start planning a moving party and invite friends and family to help you move. The idea of a moving party (my husbands' idea) revolves around the obvious, the move; but anyone that's ever moved before can attest that a move is no party. So, choose to make the move fun and as stress free as possible by setting a time limit for the moving part (such as three hours), then plan on relaxing with your guests with food, drinks, and entertainment for a couple of hours. If you can get enough party guests to help out with your move, the experience of lugging boxes from the truck to the house will not only go faster but will also be a lot more enjoyable.

- Three options for enlisting help at your party:
- plan for your guests to help you pack
- plan for your guests to help you unpack
- or if your move is short, plan for your guests to help you move boxes from the old residence to the new residence.

P.S. I think the easiest dinner option is ordering pizza. There are many coupons at several pizza places for five dollar pizzas (when you buy 3 or more).

5. Label, Label, Label! Label all boxes clearly and once on the top and once on the side. In your label, include the room the box belongs in and a short description of the contents.


Miscellaneous moving tips:

1. Use socks to hold small breakables, such as candles, light bulbs, and knick knacks.
2. Use clothes, such as t-shirts to place in between breakable dishes, pictures, or glasses.
3. Use your give away pile (from decluttering) as party favors for your guests. Let them have first pick of anything you don't plan on keeping as a thank you for helping you move. Remember one man's junk is another man's treasure :o )

Tip # 1 : "Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?" Jesus replied
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: " 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.'^[b] This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'

<sup>Matthew 22:36-39


Jesus placed loving God at the top of the list, so I will follow suit and place this commandment as my number one tip. What does loving God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind look like anyway? 1 John 5:3 says "This is love for God: to obey his commands. And his commands are not burdensome." I'm finding out more each day that the 'not burdensome' part is in fact correct!
I'm on a mission to love God and to love others in every situation that I have an opportunity to do so. So far on this journey, I have found that I feel the least burdened when I am loving the most people. I used to find ways to take care of myself, to put me first, and to make sure I was well taken care of, yet somehow I never felt fulfilled. Some days I find myself reverting back to self love and oddly these are the days I feel the most burdened. Surprisingly, the moments I spend loving others aren't always easy, but they are never burdensome. No matter if I'm waking up with my hungry baby boy in the middle of the night, if I'm making a meal for a sick friend, or if I'm putting my wants and desires aside to better serve my husband, I'm finding that investing time in loving other people produces more joy, more peace, and more love for God in my heart, then it does to insist that my every want, whim, and desire is met.

Thanks DAD for loving me, for me teaching me, and for encouraging me, your love is amazing.

I love you, Tammy</sup>