Tip # 3: Be Grateful For What You Have
I went to the grocery store yesterday to buy a few items that we were in semi need of. Buy semi need I mean that we don't absolutely have to have them this week. The boys and I are heading to Oklahoma on Saturday and hubba Bubba will be following Sunday. So, grocery shopping for this week was to be limited if any due to the fact that we will all be gone for two weeks. Unfortunately, old habits die hard. I found myself yesterday in the middle of Von's with two screaming babies,(who were absolutely worn out, seeing as how we had been in the store for three hours), coupons strewn about all over my basket, and a cart full of twenty five miscellaneous items we absolutely did not need. I rationalized in my head (as I always do) that buying these twenty five unneeded items was a great deal and just fine because at checkout I would be receiving a coupon for twenty dollars off of my next order for purchasing the correct twenty five items. My percentage saved was well over 50% (as it usually is) and my total was only thirty six dollars, yet somehow, the excitement, the thrill and the happiness I usually felt about this feat was missing. My kids were screaming with chip crumbs (from the bag I had to purchase to keep them occupied so I could continue scheming) all over their face, tear stained cheeks, and jelly stains on their clothes (due to the pb & j lunch they were forced to eat in the basket, so I could have more time scheming). It hit me when I looked at them that something was terribly wrong with this picture. It's one thing to take the kids grocery shopping, this is a normal every week habit that most moms inevitably face. It's an entirely different thing to drag the kids from store to store all because of my lust to hit the next sale, and the next savings promotion to buy items we absolutely do not need. When I got home, I took the kids to bed,realizing they had both peed through their diapers, which made me feel even worse and it was at that moment I decided I wasn't going to unload the car this time. Bub got home a little while later and I explained the situation and he abruptly agreed with the unthinkable that I had been contemplating: I needed to take it all back. So, I jumped in the car and I did just that. It was hard, because although I didn't need anything I bought, I did want almost some of it. But truth be told, I spent thirty six dollars we did not have, the food I bought wasn't even food we really liked, and we will be gone for two weeks so we already have plenty of food to last until we are gone and for a few days when we get back. More importantly though, my addiction to shopping and saving with coupons is hurting my kids and our relationship and interrupting the valuable time I get to spend with them. I only went shopping yesterday to feed my addiction.
I religiously go to the store on Mondays. In fact, it's something I really look forward to. I discovered hard core coupon shopping, savings, and strategies about a year ago and have been a junkie ever since. I say this jokingly, but honestly I am in the throws of a shopping addiction. I used to spend my shopping time with my mom and sister at Wal-mart. I constantly brought home knick knacks, clothes, and basically anything that was on sale. I really prided myself on being such a savvy shopper. Then we moved to California and our budget got tighter and I soon realized that my Wal- mart shopping excursions would have to come to a screeching halt if we were going to pay our bills. Not only did I lose my favorite shopping partners, I also had to shun my favorite store. I adapted and I soon discovered the sheer awesomeness of coupons. I researched and read how to maximize my savings and with coupons and kids in tow I began going on what I like to call, "Monday Mania," or in other words my weekly trip to the grocery stores. Coupons flew, tempers flailed but I braved the storm, every single week as I hauled my boys around the stores determined to save money. The coupon craze and the incredible savings it produced enticed me to spend hours preparing for my shopping trips, cutting coupons, and toting my boys in the grocery cart for hours on end. I have known this is all madness and I have been disheartened by how to stop the mania, yet still save the money for quite some time now.
But, thank God for epiphany's! My husband asked me to read an excerpt from a lecture by Mother Teresa that she gave for winning the Nobel Peace Prize in 1979. As I sat there, reading this lecture allowed, I began to realize just how much my family and I really have been blessed with. She spoke of a man who she had rescued off of the streets of Calcutta, India who had been half eaten with worms. She brought him back to the home to care for him, and in his gratefulness, knowing that he was about to die, he said, "I have lived like an animal in the street, but I am going to die like an angel, loved and cared for." This man, the poorest of the poor, with absolutely nothing to speak of, with a half eaten body, still had something to be grateful for.
Gratefulness is not a gift, it is a choice. This is the epiphany for me. My shopping addiction is so petty in comparison to Mother Teresa's countless acts of generosity, love, and gratefulness. I realize now that the path to beat this coupon craze along with its' shopping addiction is to be grateful for what I have. I have a tendency to accumulate more and more food, toiletries, and paper products than I know what to do with (due to coupons and sales). I spend so much time planning and conniving over how to get more stuff that I never implement a successful plan to use what I already have. The newest items in the sales flyer's are prizes that I must have no matter the cost to my kids, to my husband, or to myself. This is ungratefulness! I am unwilling to be content with what I have, or in some cases, what I do not have simply because I am not in the habit of being grateful.
My prayer, my petition, and my hearts desire, God, is that you will help me to always choose contentment with what is in my pantry over lust for what is in the sales ad, that you will help to put on gratefulness for a family to feed rather than ungratefulness for our ill perceived lack. Help me to be wise in the decisions my husband has entrusted me with when it comes to grocery shopping, coupon clipping, and saving money. Help me to rely on you to supply all my needs according to your riches and glory.
I am choosing gratefulness today, I love you,
Tammy Hook
