Call for Help, Make me Content

May 25, 2010

God,

I need your help, as always, once again and unless I die in the next ten minutes, this won’t be the last time. So, as you know I had a garage sale two weekends ago. I made sixty seven dollars. Which isn’t great, but hey it’s something. Well, as I was sitting there with no customers I had this bright idea to bring down all of my stockpiled razors and contact solution. The next customer who came by snatched all of them up and took down my number to call me when I got more. So, these past two weeks I have become a little on the obsessive side with couponing again. Of course at the neglect of the house and more importantly my kids. I’m tired of feeling like a failure as a mother and wife. I know how to change, kind of, and I have tried it, I mean I made my cards and I’m trying to do them, but I still feel so behind. I feel like I’m not good at anything tangible. I know it’s really selfish to say this, but I want to be good at something that other people can measure. So, there I said it, the fear of man and the desire to have their praise is still alive and well in my heart. I want to kill it. I want it gone. I don’t want to care what they think about me. I only want to care what You think about me. But there’s this part of me that wants to be successful, well off, wealthy, liked, and popular. There’s this other part of me that wants to be, patient, kind, not rude, not self seeking, gentle, non judgmental, and content. I feel like these two parts of me are constantly at war. I can say and type all day long that I just want to be like You and I want You to live through me…. And those sayings are all fine and good. But, if they were really true, then I would do something about it. And that’s where I need your help. I believe those things in my mind but not in my heart. If I truly believed them in my heart, I believe I would do them, consistently. How do I stop caring so much about money, success, and ultimately how I am viewed by others. I crave their positive comments about my achievements. How do I stop craving that?

For example, with coupons, I want them to think I am a good home economist and that I manage our finances well. I want them to think that I am a savvy shopper and the best bargain hunter they know. I want them to think that I not only know how to stay within a budget but I do it! Which we all know is a farce, because I don’t stay within the 400 dollar budget, ever.

When I used to play volleyball and basketball I stayed before and after practice to get good. And I wanted to be really good, so I practiced, a lot. But, at both of those sports no matter how hard I practiced I was still never the best. There was always someone who was better than me. And for all of the hard work and practice that I put into those two sports, I never once received something tangible (e.g. a college scholarship). Actually, upon rereading this I did receive a plaque for winning female athlete of the year my senior year. That plaque has dust on it in the closet somewhere. I know that instead, I received life lessons and immeasureable rewards that are still useful today. Although I can’t tell You what they are… but I’m sure that I received them…at some point. So, I guess I’m feeling a little of the same frustration now. My practice in motherhood and wifehood is the emotional equivalent of running ten suicides back to back. I feel tired, out of breath, and like I’m about to pass out at any moment. But I guess if those two sports taught me one thing, it’s that quitters never win. I know that no matter what, I won’t quit. So, with that being said, I guess I’m going to get my lazy ass off the couch and clean the house. Thanks for the pep talk :)

One final thought,

If you can hold it, if you can feel it, your reward for achieving, then the trophy you earned will be constantly misleading.

The prize for the work that you self righteously earn will sit on your shelf and cause your heart to burn

With lust and envy and strife for more so that you can earn more accolades like those earned before.

If you can’t hold it, if you can’t feel it, then your reward for achieving will consistently and forever have a much deeper meaning.

Whatever the prize for your accomplishment is due desire the one that does not praise you. Instead let your heart be set on the Lord who gave you the gift to earn such a reward.

He will do the praising when your time is due so stop and ask Him what He wants from you.

His answer will probably most likely be, listen, love, and follow Me.

Love you Dad

Tammy

Top Five Grocery Saving Tips

I was just reading my post on gratefulness that I wrote almost two years ago! Wow, what a journey I have been through with kicking the habit of excessive coupon shopping. I have had a few seasons this past year where God told me to stop couponing all together. And I did, and those times were much needed. I thank God that he has truly shown me (and is still showing me) all that I have to be grateful for. I am still couponing though, and I can honestly say that God has faithfully shown me the balancing act of using coupons to save money while only buying the things my family needs. He truly is an awesome God! These next tips are the top five tips God has given me wisdom about that have truly shown me how to save money without sacrificing the ever important relationships in my life.

1. Make a Menu Plan.

This is crucial. Go through your pantry, your fridge, and your freezer to discover what ingredients you already have. An excellent internet source to help with the menu planning process is www.supercook.com. You simply type in the ingredients that you already have in your pantry and it produces thousands of recipes from all across the web that you can use with what you already have! With my personal plan I try and come up with as many meals as I possibly can with what we already have. Don't forget to plan for leftovers (if your family will eat them of course).

2. Save any and all Grocery Sales fliers that come in your mailbox or newspaper.

I know some of you may be thinking, "What, that junk mail?" Let me just tell you a few things about that 'junk mail.' Most grocery stores within a decent radius of your house will send you a sales circular in the mail with all of their loss leaders. Loss leaders are items that stores advertise that they are willing to take a loss on in order to get you through their doors. They are banking on the fact that when you get their to pick up that loss leader chicken, pasta, and toilet paper, you'll also go ahead and do the rest of your grocery shopping with them. But, here's the kicker, if you are truly trying to save money and really want to maximize your grocery budget, then only get the loss leaders at each individual store.

So what you would do, is go through the ad and find the items that are on sale or at rock bottom prices and build your menus around these items.
Now this is where some problems arise, because I can almost hear you saying, "So, what that means I have to go to like ten different stores to get the good sales, who has time for that?!"

Amen, sister. And that's why I thank God for Wal-mart. Wal-mart price matches. So, this means you can take your Albertson's ad to walmart, buy the same size, and quantity of pasta that's listed, show your cashier the ad (before she rings up the item) and recieve the pasta that Albertson's has advertised at Walmart.
Now, Walmart has recently changed their price matching policy to include stores with club cards. I highly suggest carrying a copy of walmarts price matching policy (which you can find here at walmarts website or by googling walmart price matching policy). That a way if you have any problems you can have their written policy as back up.
Now if your like me, you price match anything and everything. I've price matched everything from laundry detergent to green beans (yes they can price match produce but most cashiers that I have encountered do need manager assistance with this one). Please have your ad ready and on the right page for each store, also remember to be patient and allow others to go ahead of you who might only have a few things. Price matching can get tedious if you encounter a cashier who does not know how to price match. Don't hesitate to ask the cashier before your transaction has begun if they are comfortable and familiar with price matching.

3. Match coupons with sales ads to maximize your savings.

I would highly suggest saving every coupon that comes through your doors. Now, I didn't say clipping every coupon, just saving it. So, if you go through the Sunday paper and clip out only the coupons you know you will use, that's fine. But save the unclipped parts of the insert. I suggest this because sometimes there are sales that, when combined with coupons, make items free or cheap. For example, let's say that your all time favorite toothpaste is Crest, So, of course you clip Crest coupons but you usually just throw the Colgate coupons out. I am suggesting to save the Colgate coupons just in case there is a sale for free Colgate. Many coupons come out for items that are free or cheap that you may not like or use, but if you were to "buy" these items when they are free or cheap with your coupons you can make a charitable donation to a church or charity without having to spend money!

You can also access store specific sales and coupon match ups every week at Afullcup.com, Hotcouponworld.com, and many other blogs across the internet. Two of my favorites are Moneysavingmom.com and Commonsensewithmoney.com .These sites have been invaluable to me because they do the work of matching the store ad with current coupons so that I don't have to do the legwork.

4. Invest time in learning the in's and outs of store incentive programs, such as the Extra Care Bucks with CVS, or Register Rewards with Walgreens.

These rewards programs are free to join, but do require a minimal amount of time to learn how they work. There are many blogs and the above mentioned coupon sites detail how to start saving with these programs. I have basically been able to get all of my household toiletry and hygiene items free for over three years now, because of these generous rewards systems. They are definitly worth learning and mastering.

5. Serve Whole Foods.
My defination of whole foods is anything that comes from the ground, has a mother or can be created from ingredients that you can pronounce.
Now what I am about to say is completely my opinion, it is not proven and it's definitely not fact.
My observations have led me to believe that all of the added "extras" in foods that have been processed in a factory lead to wanting more food, wanting more food with "extras" and ultimately overeating. I find that when I eat foods that come from the ground (fruits and vegetables) I am less likely to overeat. So, I suggest buying whole foods from Farmer's Markets when they are in season, or if this is not an option then buying them from the grocery store when they are in season.

If you have extra time, or just like to cook, I would highly suggest experimenting with making your own bread, breakfast foods, pasta, tortillas, bagels, cereal, granola bars, etc. This can also be a highly effective way to cut cost in the grocery budget.

And the Bonus Tip if you are truly committed to staying on a budget than this tip is especially for you. Decide what your budget will be for groceries and take that amount of money out of your checking account in cash each week or month depending on your preference. You may only spend the cash you have taken out on groceries, but once it is gone for the week (or month) it's gone. I am currently practicing this and as we speak I have six dollars to last me 9 days! Thank God I have Extra Care Bucks and Register Rewards to supplement this or I definately wouldn't make it.

Please feel free to comment with any questions you may have.