I finally took the plunge and got an iphone about a month ago. I started keeping my prayer journal in the notes section and I have really gained a lot of insight into how God continues to prove himself faithful in my life. On June 8, 2012 I prayed that God would give me wisdom on how to love my kids in the way that He has designed for them to receive love. He answered me in a big way through one of my favorite friends.
Loving Your Kids on Purpose by Danny Silk
My friend and I have been walking out our motherhood ministry with each other for about six years now. She has always been the one mother that I have desired to model my mothering after because of her patience, gentle spirit, and consistent approach to loving her children. So when she told me about Loving Your Kids On Purpose by Danny Silk, I had no other choice but to listen to her.
You see, I had been having minor issues with each of my four kids which was adding up to one major impending break down! When I asked God for wisdom I had been chewing on James 1:5 "If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him." So, I decided that my usual cry of "God help me!" needed to be changed to "God please give me wisdom!"
So, in swims my friend (we were at the pool when she imparted this God given wisdom to me :) and she starts sharing about this new parenting method that she's been implementing and learning about. I new that she was onto something so I went home and started researching Danny Silk and listening to YouTube clips and I bought the book and devoured the information right away and began changing my parenting.
The first chunk of wisdom that God has given me so far from this book and this ministry on how to love my kids on purpose is to stop punishing my kids and start loving them by sharing control with them through discipliship.
You see God tells all of us to love our neighbor as we love ourselves right? Right. So, my kids and my husband are literally my closest neighbor, which means I get the most practice with loving like Jesus did right in my own home.
However I have been really making a mess of that the past few years due to my drill Sargent attitude of "I'm the mom and you'll do what I say with a smile and a yes mommy." So this book got me thinking about that, and I was thinking about God and how as my Dad he doesn't treat me like I've been treating my kids....
He has given me two super important gifts in my life that outweigh the rest. The gift of his Son Jesus Christ, and the gift of free will. He doesn't make me love him or obey him with yelling, screaming, coercion, or force. He instead gives me the free will to choose Him and His ways. He has shown me that His ways are more attractive and provide more comfort, peace, and joy than any other way. He has shown that He is faithful, consistent, and can be trusted with my heart. So, I made the choice about a decade ago to give him my heart and He has not let me down. Over the past ten years He has desired a relationship with me and has used His Holy Spirit, other people, and circumstances to show me how much he loves me.
I want my kids to see Him in me by loving them, like He loves me. I used to think that God was constantly mad at me and waiting for me to mess up. But I have since learned that the greatest gift he gave us truly is His only begotten Son Jesus Christ. It really is true that Jesus took all of the punishment that we deserved for sinning and endured the pain that was due us on the cross. Which literally means God's not mad at us! He already made the provision for our sins to be paid for and we can't pay for them again. He's not in the business of punishing his children for their sin anymore and I don't want to be either.
How does this relate to our kids? God doesn't punish us, so we shouldn't punish our kids. When Immanuel, God with us, came down to walk among us and live like we do, he discipled, he didn't punish, he loved, he didn't withhold, he saved, he didn't destroy. I want to love like Jesus does. In allowing my children to exercise their free will -while providing acceptable choices- I am able to better control my self. By erasing the desire to control their actions and embracing the call to disciple them I am learning that the love of my Dad can truly flow through me and to them.
Thank you God for giving me wisdom on how to love my kids like You have created them to be loved. Stay tuned for more nuggets of wisdom that God has shared with me through Loving Your Kids On Purpose by Danny Silk.
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